


Snowflakes and Honey

by lonelysector23



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 21:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10885047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelysector23/pseuds/lonelysector23
Summary: Cullen notices things about the Inquisitor.





	Snowflakes and Honey

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this earlier, but I wasn't very happy with it so I made some changes. I hope you like it! :)

The warm weather that had welcomed them to Skyhold was nowhere to be seen. The weather showed signs of impending snowfall – the cold was not as severe as it was in Haven, but the wind had a bit of a bite compared to the sunny weather from a few weeks prior, which Cullen enjoyed. He found it kept him alert and helped him sleep a little more comfortably when he actually managed to get some rest. He was looking over some reports that had arrived from the Hinterlands early that morning as he was leaving the main hall, on his way to see Cassandra to discuss them with her. He looked up as he stepped outside and began to make his way down the steps when he saw her out of the corner of his eye.

His heart skipped a beat as he saw Lily at the infirmary, speaking to the surgeon who was tending to the wounded soldiers and refugees. One of the first things she had done when they arrived at Skyhold was to replace the older, smaller tents with sizeable ones, which protected the patients from harsh weather and also granted them more privacy. He watched as the surgeon handed Lily a small piece of parchment, which she then looked over and placed in her pocket. The infirmary must have been running low on supplies again – this was a regular occurrence since they had arrived at Skyhold. He made a mental note to ask Josephine to order a few more shipments of healing herbs.

Cullen sighed as Lily continued to talk to the surgeon. He wanted to speak to her – he wanted to know how she was doing, if she was alright, if there was anything he could do. So far, it has proven difficult – he mostly saw her during war meetings and they were far too busy trying to come up with solutions to the numerous problems the Inquisition was currently facing to talk about anything else. He occasionally saw her in the library, sitting on the floor with a pile of books next to her as she thumbed through the one on her lap or in the stables, helping Master Dennett care for the horses. He was reluctant to disturb her during those moments, since seeing her so relaxed was a rare sight.

That… and he also wasn’t sure if his attempts at conversation would be welcomed.

Cullen returned his attention to the reports he was holding. He couldn’t help but feel that maybe she was trying to keep her distance – she always spoke to him in a formal manner whenever he had tried to make casual conversation with her, only offering polite responses and mostly speaking about important business for the Inquisition. He thought the reason might have had something to do with him being an ex-templar, but with the way he had reacted in Haven’s chantry after she allied with the mages, he couldn’t blame her. He sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck, remembering when she confronted him about his reaction. _“Do you have a problem with me, as well?”_

Maker, he must have given her a poor impression.

Maybe it would be best if he didn’t bother her. Still, Cullen couldn’t help but be a little curious – he wanted to know more about her, but not the way Leliana had suggested when they first met in Haven. He did not care for the information the reports or her spies had – he wanted to hear what _Lily_ was willing to share.

At first, he figured his interest in getting to know her was due to him being one of her advisors in the Inquisition. It made sense to want to get to know her if they were to work together for a long period of time. As time passed, however, he realized things were not that simple.

Cullen found himself beginning to notice many things about the Inquisitor since he met her.

He noticed how she usually kept to herself in Haven, occasionally stepping out of her quarters to run some errands for Adan in the apothecary or to work on some modifications for weapons and armor…

How she had trouble concentrating in meetings due to a lack of sleep, the faraway look in her eyes speaking of the new horrors she witnessed during her last mission…

How she would flinch whenever the mark on her hand would spark, quickly dismissing it whenever someone asked her if she was alright…

Cullen looked up from his reports as he noticed a few white flakes landed on the parchment he had been trying to read. It had begun to snow. He turned his gaze back in Lily’s direction. She was walking towards the stables, suddenly pausing to wipe a large snowflake that landed on her nose.

He also noticed little things about her, things he was sure he wouldn’t notice under different circumstances.

He noticed how she always brought her locket up to her lips when she was deep in thought during meetings…

How she took his breath away the first time he saw her smile, a genuine chuckle escaping her lips as she laughed at something Sera said during supper…

…the color of her eyes, a deep, warm brown that he saw clearly for the first time when he was trying to keep her warm after she escaped the destruction of Haven.

The terror Cullen felt when he and Cassandra found Lily lying in the snow was something he would never forget. He could still see how lifeless her body looked, how he desperately fumbled around her neck with shaking hands until he finally found her pulse. Her helm was nowhere to be found as he saw her face covered in blood, a long slash going from her forehead, over her eye and down her cheek – he had not wanted to imagine what other horrible injuries she must have suffered as he gently lifted her out of the snow. He had quickly removed his armor when they reached their camp, trying to share some of his body heat with her while sitting in front of a brazier. Cassandra had been shouting orders as the healers were rushing to get their supplies when Lily tensed in his arms, stirring briefly. He remembered how her eyes were trying to focus in his direction before they slid shut again.

The waiting had been the hardest part. She had slept for two days – two days that were filled with uncertainty, dread and desperation along with faith and hope that she would pull through. The amount of relief Cullen had felt when he saw those same honey colored eyes alert and looking back at him after she had left her tent had almost brought him to his knees.

Cullen frowned as he glanced down at his reports again. He couldn’t help but feel that his feelings for her were inappropriate – she was the Inquisitor, _the Herald of Andraste_ , and they were currently fighting a war. Besides, she clearly did not want anything more than a professional relationship with him, which was something he would respect. His gaze flicked back to her, his chest aching at the thought. Lily was examining the large snowflake in her hand, the glove she was wearing preventing it from melting.

Cullen found himself rooted to the spot when she suddenly met his gaze. His face began to feel warm with embarrassment from being caught staring at her, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away. He could almost imagine how the falling snow would look compared to the warmth of her eyes, a combination of frost and liquid honey.  Snowflakes fluttered around her, settling on her dark hair as she continued to look at him. The healed scar across her left eye contrasted with her skin, a constant reminder of what she survived in Haven. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and her breath appeared in small white puffs as she offered a polite smile and proceeded to walk away, completely unaware that the commander’s heart now belonged to her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3


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